wonderful memories do not last long...

2008-11-13T21:46:00.002+08:00

At this particular time, you are feeling that you are or were unjustly and undeservedly treated and/or betrayed in your hopes and dreams. You feel that everything is against you. But look on the bright side for you are, whether you believe it or not, a survivor.

You are a very warm and emotional individual but unfortunately in the past too many people have taken advantage of this sensitive trait. You need aesthetic surroundings, or an equally sensitive and understanding partner with whom to share a warm understanding.

All the problems that you have been experiencing of late seem to have become a part of your life and there is little that can be done to change the situation. Your emotions run high - but even though you feel as if at times you are about to burst this situation will pass. Try to release your pent-up emotions by participating in some extra physical activities like running, swimming, whatever. There must be some favourite pastime, not necessarily strenuous, that can help you to relax.

All of the stress and strains resulting from disappointment have led to agitation and anxiety. You have been going out of your way to make a good impression, but you have reservations as to the likelihood of succeeding. You feel that you have a right to accomplish all that you set your mind on but you have become helpless and distressed when circumstances have gone against you. The idea of failure is most upsetting and this can even mean utter dejection. You see yourself as a scapegoat and you feel everyone in your sphere of influence has tried to take undue advantage of you. You are trying to convince yourself that your failure to achieve standing and recognition is not of your making but indeed of those around you.

You are moody and depressed at this time but it will pass. All of your hopes and dreams seem to have gone astray and you are fearful of planning further for the future. Disappointment at the non fulfilment of your hopes and the fear that to formulate fresh goals will only lead to further setbacks have resulted in considerable anxiety and you try to escape from this by withdrawing into yourself. But that is not the answer. You have the power to succeed, believe in yourself... all is possible to him who believes.

it seems so true... try it. CLICK!

2008-10-22T10:17:00.002+08:00

the day has finally arrived for mi to realise all the foolish things i've done in the past...
nth will change the fact dat i'm just a selffish freak who will do anithing just to please miself...
thats wad happens with mi sch, and mi grandma...
for the sake of having more rest, i've skipped alot of lectures in sch which caused mi downfall in grades...
for the sake of having more fun tyms with mi frens whom i've nt met for long, i've missed the chance for mi to meet mi grandma for the last tym...
wth is wrong wif mi??

in this world, people are meant to interact and enjoy each others company. but there are always a minority group of people who feels left out or just cant stand to have people around them. is dis wad the world is meant to be?? or is the world lik dis so that it is equal??? but wad equality is dere here in dis case??

i'm so sorry if i've ever done anithing to hurt you... words can be a lethal weapon... temper is like a ferocious monster... i've never thought that i'll show dat side of mi infront of others except mi family... but apparently, one cant hide its character for long... i'm sorry everyone, from pri sch to sec sch to poly... i'm sorri for shouting at you... i'm sorri for hitting you... life has never been dis down bfore...

everything is the same... but everything is different... life still goes on, but you are gone... may you rest in peace in the netherworld... and protect the whole family from any tears...

can't step into ani1's hse for 3 years...

2008-10-05T10:10:00.002+08:00

why didn't i visit her yesterday??

why didn't i visit her after work??

why didn't i make full use of the last wk wif her??

why do ppl oli noe wad to treasure aft losing dem??

everything is so sudden...

she was discharged ytd...

she was at home today...

she had left us today...

i'm so useless not able to do anithing for her...

i'm so unfilial to not visit her for the past week...

i'm so idiotic to go out wif sterrs- instead of visiting her...

i'm super super 2pid to not visit when i hav the tym...

now everything is gone.

in just less than 24hrs.

n i'm not by her side.

i've not been by her side for a single moment.

i'm a medical student...

i should noe that septicemia is very serious...

i should noe that by seeing her on the IVT and anitibiotic drip...

but i'm so stupid to actually believe wad the nurse told mi...

and i so sorry for believing it...

i'm having a great tym wif sterrs- ytd.

yet i didn't realise her suffering due to mi absence...

i should hav visited her b4 mting sterrs-.

yet i chose to stay at hm n rest...

now she's gone, forever gone...

with nt a single look at mi for the last tym, n nt a single look for mi at her.

why do mi tears keep flowing out??

i do not feel anithing inside mi...

but tears are flowing out...

i think there's sth wrong wif mi eyes...

it shouldn't hav so much water as i hav dry eyes...

i'm sorry for nt being dere.. 미안해요,사랑해요.

rest in peace

2008-08-15T16:30:00.002+08:00

why izit that troubles are always followed by troubles?? previously it was ah mah, now it was mum... mi mum is in her early 50s, n she had a stroke... she had been diagnosed wif hypertension, hyperglycemia, n she had high cholesterol... see, dats the result of not listening to the words of others and drinking so much soft drinks and eating so much oily stuffs...

wads adding to the trouble is that mi sis did not manage to get through her university life... she failed her exams once again... its been the 2nd tym although no 1 speak about it... n this tym, she finally told us abt retaining...

i have no mood to study... 1 week to exams and 4 days to term test and yet, i'm still doing nothing... i just hope that she'll be find after all the physiotherapy... n all the best for mi non-study exams...

tired and more tired...

2008-07-29T00:48:00.002+08:00

finally out from the hospital... everything is going on quite smoothly... everything is still the same... same old idiotic school... same old noisy house... same old isolated and abandoned me... thanx sisters, for bringing mi laughter on fri... its been so long since i actually laugh mi heart out... seriously, i'm laughing from deep within mi heart, although it lasted onli a few seconds... tears are following the laughter... and once again, i've proven that i'm a good actor coz none of u realized that its not the tears of happiness... but aniway, thanx for being there when i needed someone to accompany mi... even if its just being there without doing anithing, without listening to mi, without talking to mi... thanx every1... i'm feeling better... at least for now...

but new problems arises... exams are coming soon... i'm not even a little prepared for it... i've failed almost all mi quizzes for this 2 months... and its affecting mi GPA... thanx bear for asking mi out to study... but i'm not sure if it will be effective to mi given mi current situation... i'm not able to focus... i know that its important, but i just don't feel the urgency and need to study... y is this always happening to mi?? y m i always doing or feeling like that when it comes to major examinations? its the same with prelim, the same with O' Levels, the same with last 2 sem exams and now, its the same with this coming exams... i know i need someone to talk to... but i don't really like to talk to others about the real problems that i faced... but what's worst now is that i don't even know what had happened... maybe god can give mi an answer, but i don't believe in gods... maybe friends can give mi an answer, but i've got not much close friends, and all mi close friends are busy, i don't want to bother them with mi problems when they're having A' Levels soon... maybe i should do some self reflections to find the answer, but i'm only able to do that when i go back to sgss... conclusion: there's no one, no place, and no chance for mi to find the answer to mi unknown question...

recently, i can't even express myself properly... mi speech becomes unclear... and i stammer alot... i keep saying the wrong things and i couldn't process what is on mi brain and what i'm going to say... i must be going mad... just let mi die... i wished that i've never ever existed...

wishing for eternal goodbye

2008-07-22T00:31:00.002+08:00

things are getting really bad... i'm sorri if i offended ani1 for the past 2 mnts... and i'm sorri if i scared ani1 for the past few weeks by crying suddenly in school or on the bus... i noe i'm just thinking too much, or rather, i'm not looking at things from the bright side. but its really hard for mi to accept the fact... i noe that the truth is always cruel, but i'm just scared to even think of wad is gonna happen...

Yi n Fang, thanx for talking me thru all this, but i still cant make myself accept the fact that she's going to be gone somedae... yvonee, sorri for crying infront of u dat dae... i'm so sorri...

Since young, ive learnt to keep mi tears to myself in the darkness of the night or to mi most close and trusted friends. although i can't control my anger, i'm able to hide all mi sadness or disappointment from every1. but its different dis tym... i'm trying really hard to act as if nth has happened for the past 2 mnts, but its really hard to act as if nth has happened in sch and @ the hospital dis few daes...

grandma just had a blood transfusion on wed, and her functional status has drop to D. she's nt eatign anithing and has to be fed milk via the tube directly to the stomach... even her talking ability has decreased... we can't make out what she's trying to tell us now... many ppl said dat grandma is very strong, as she is already 90, turning 91 in 5 mnts tym... but why must leave us?? why must she suffer so much before leaving us?? we'r hoping dat she'll recover, but its been over 2 mnts since she's 1st admitted to the hospital... is she really able to recover?? i dunno...

sch work is piling up, my grades are dropping... i cant slp @ night, but feels damn slping in the morn... i have no social life, the onli place i go beside home is just sch and hospital... i have tons of work to be handed in tml, but i still typing mi way thru here... ppl always say dat i show signs of depression, mayb i'm suffering from 1 right nw... i wished for a shoulder to cry on, for a listening ear to speak to, but non will b available... i dread going hm nowadaes, hm reminds me of the tym spent tgt wif her... but sgss is gone, gone forever... i have no place to go to when i'm feeling down or feel lik crying, i can onli return hm n cry in my bed... i wished i could just cry out infront of every1, ani1... but dey seem to have prepared for the worst... hw can i cry infront of dem?? in ppl's eyes, i'm just some 2pid girl who can't control her hot temper and is always pulling a long face... do dey even think that i would cry?? i'm nt as strong as every1 think i m. n nw, after writing dis post, its backing to acting again...

get well soon...

2008-06-30T20:49:00.002+08:00

i think i'm too friendly... met Xiang Ming @ TM 2dae & i called out to him even though he was on the fone... apparently, he cant hear mi, so i tried to hit him & he finally looked over.

well... he had this "hu r u?" look on his face... & wad happened after dat was so damn embarrassing!!!

he told the other person on the fone to wait, & was waiting for mi 2 say sth... but all i said was:

" hello!! bye!!"

...

... ...

wad m i doing??? i dunno... guess i'm going crazy... after so much dat has happened... get well soon... if u ever pass away, our family will b worst den b4... i guess we'll nt even mt during chinese new year if u were to pass away... mi family will split!!! n dats wad i hate most... nw dat sgss is gone, i have no place to seek refuge... dere's no place dat i can go when i feel lik crying, when i dun feel lik going hm, when i just wan a break frm all dis things... i'm scared of turning back into the old mi, the quiet and anti-social mi, but everything is nt going according to wad i expect... mi frens r leaving mi, u r leaving mi, n i'm leaving mi... i'm scared of the tears dat comes everynite in the old mi... but no 1 noes wad will happen in the future, i'm oso scared of the nw mi when i started to sense the change... mayb, its just better to return to the old mi...

helpless, hopeless

2008-05-25T19:06:00.002+08:00

the irritating tym of the year has arrived again... the whole family is down wif an infectious disease again... i've tot dat i m saved dis yr, but even mi dad caught the disease... damn it, can the cycle nt repeat itself every yr?? i'm feeling so terrible nw... mi body is beri sore, the bones are hurting, i've had diarrhea, i've vomited twice, n i'm having a fever of 39⁰C... damn it, tml is HTech's interview n FPath lec quiz, but i've did nth except lying on the bed for the pass 2 daes....

haiz... sth is wrong wif mi family's immune system... we always had this kind of illness tgt whenever it reaches this tym of the year... but dis yr is different, bcoz mi dad, who rarely falls sick, contracted the disease too...but strange enuff, mi sis is fine... the disease spreads lik dis...

1. mi mum started vomiting and having diarrhea on thurs...

2. mi dad, sharing the same cup as mi mum wifout noeing dat she's sick, had the same symptoms...

3. mi bro, slping tgt wif mi dad, contracted the disease on fri...

4. me, hu strongly believes that i'm going to b fine, exhibit the same symptoms wifout noeing hw i contracted the disease...

its been 4daes but mi mum n dad is still nt feeling well... as or mi? i've wasted the whole wkend without studying or preparing for the presentation on tues, the quiz on mon n fri, n the interview tml...

i'm still having doubts abt whether i'm able to make it to sch tml... given mi condition nw, i think i'm going to have a serious prob in sch tml...

trying to be calm & steady

2008-05-16T20:28:00.002+08:00

its been so long, i tink its tym for mi to clear the spider webs here...

many things have happened during dis 1 month plus, happi, sad, surprising, tiring and so on...

sometyms, i really wished dat i wasnt born, or rather, i wasnt born in dis century...

i've met alot of frens, but seriously, sometyms, i dunno hw 2 face dem... it feels so weird...

its been the Nth tym dat some1 say i look beri hard working... but dun 4gt, looks are deceiving... although i'm glad that i look dis way, but sometyms, i'm nt as strong as i look...

i'm oso a human, i oso want to help ppl... the myanmar cyclone and the si chuan earth quake dat have taken millions of lifes... and nw, ppl dat i wanted to help most, mi frens and families...

dat dae when i was having dinner wif sterrs without Hui n Fang, Yi said dat mi life and heart is beri dark... her definition: scary and horrendous... Nie added dat mi expression make mi look lik a murderer... her e.g.: the murderer dat chop off the women's head and hid it inside a huge Hello Kitty head for more den 1 yr... well, i noe i look scary... but do looks really reflect wad n hw a person is?

Fang, i noe u'r stress... (i noe u won't read mi blog too)... but if u happen to read dis, dun 4gt dat sterrs is always dere for u... dun keep things to urself k? its nt dat we dun wanna help, but we can onli help if we'r given a chance to... i've promised miself b4 dat i won't cry for u animore... but i noe dat will nv happen... coz i've alrd cried twice when u missed ur appointments wif us on fri n wed... i noe ppl will say dat i'm just exaggerating, but as i've said... i dun look as strong as i look...

n nw... sth happened to sterrs again... i feel sorri and sad for wad had happened, but deres really nth dat we can do to help... to onli thing we can do is to console... dats wad make us, humans, so helpless... i feel lik a loser, nt being able to help ani1 dat i wanted to...

the activating of dis blog means sth is happening to mi life again, its nt a gd sign to mi... but @ least it gives mi place to express n let out all mi feelings so dat i feel better... i'm sorri for another emo post, but i nv expect ani1 to read dis aniway...

n Yvonee, if u happen to read dis... i'm nt having depression!!!

helpless, hopeless...

2008-03-29T11:55:00.002+08:00

happi birthdae to mi, happi birthdae to mi,

happi birthdae to mi~~, happi birthdae to mi...

happi birthdae to u, happi birthdae to u,

happi birthdae to Annie~~, happi birthdae to u...

thanz ppl, for the wonderful birthdae dat u've given mi. thank you Chandra, Harry, Jamalia, Jia Hui, Michelle and Koh for the cake n chocolates. thank you nienie, for trying so hard to bluff mi in order to give mi a surprise. thank you yiyi n peepee, for coming to celebrate wif mi even when u guys hav papers the nxt dae, and for carrying the heavy oven for mi all the way from amk to serangoon!! thank you nana, for showing up n singing the birthdae song(haha, coz i realised u did nth dere!) thanz ppl, although i dun noe y i was so easily conned by u... i had a wonderful birthdae!

sorri nienie, nt dat we nv buy u birthdae gift, but seriouly, we dunno wad to buy, so we've decided to wait till u found sth u seriouly want, den we'll buy it for u!! happi belated birthdae!!

i'm offically 18!! can watch m18 movies, can go pub n drink, can do many things... but dat oso mean i aging fast... haha, aniway, thanks ppl, for giving mi a wonderful birthdae n fulfilling mi humble wish...

to receive more than 3 birthdae gifts dis year...

2008-03-18T19:04:00.002+08:00

i've been rotting @ home everydae... mi 2pid manager has nt asked mi to work for dis wk... its been 2 weeks since mi holidaes but i've onli worked less than 10daes... rotting @ hm slowly... the viscious cycle continues... slping, eating, slping, eating... haiz... when can all dis stops???

ytd was mi 2pid bro's birthdae... nothing much to say... we dun celebrate our birthdae wif our family... & wads worst... he dun even noe his own birthdae... -_-

haiz... coming straight up is mi birthdae... so sian... same cycle repeats every year... no 1 except STERS celebrated mi birthdae wif mi... this yr??? i guess its going to b the same year except dat Yan Hong & Indah asked mi out on mi birthdae... haiz...

received mi 2nd birthdae gift already... the 1st was frm mi sis... now its frm mi cousin... a Japanese Conversation guide... haha... trying to b more prepared for mi nxt cds... so must start working on it nw... although i heard that the cds onli nd u to read translated japanese & nt kanji... i'll work on it aniway... happi advanced birthdae to mi and happi belated birthdae to mi bro!!!

hoping for a diff birthdae & hope dat i'll get more den 3 presents dis yr

2008-03-12T19:40:00.002+08:00

results are out. the expected "sub" papers didnt find their way to mi. but viewing mi results, i really regreted nt studying for them... all Cs... and 1 D... mi nt so gd gpa has fell from 3.0 to 2.73... although i hav no wish to enter a uni straight aft i graduated, i still feel dat this result is super disgusting... i'm dissaponted and disgusting with miself... seriously...

2008-02-23T10:30:00.004+08:00

something is wrong wif mi... i duno y... but something just seem to b wrong wif mi...
exams are here, i didnt study. i didnt study, but i feel stress. i feel stress, but i duno wad caused it. & wads worst, mi health is deteriorating. vomited in sch at least twice duing valentine. & last wk, kept having gastric for no apparent reason. i noe dat stress can cause increase secretion of gastric juice, but i just dun gt it... mayb i'm just overreacting, mayb i'm seriously sick(mentally). been crying alot lately, (& nie, i'm crying nt coz of sgss) & i finally found mi new year resolution: to earn alot of $$ to pay off mi bank loan & to make sure that the family can live happily tgt. jia you!!!

cute mv:

2008-02-18T10:45:00.002+08:00

the same cicle repeats itself...
new year is here, valentine is also here. althought is nt beri significant to mi, whenever it comes to dis tym of the year, memories will begin to engulf mi...
sorri nie and yw, i didn't mean to be so emo on valentine, its just a routine dat will keep going and going, without a destination for it to stop.
SGSS - Serangoon Garden South School
mi primary sch filled wif memories, filled wif joy and laughter, filled wif sorrows and tears...
they'r starting to tear it down bit by bit, 1stly, its the trees, those trees dat r filled wif memories, those ancient trees like the angsana... 2ndly, the aircon, followed by the garden in North block, then South block. now, they'r starting to remove the windows... how i wished dat i could once again get into the sch and tour around... tears started flowing whenever i get near the sch, but i nv noe why...
will mi memories end wif the disapearance of the sch? i'll nv noe till dat dae, but what i noe nw is, if i'll ever accept the fact dat the sch is demolished, it will be a beri long and hard journey to start wif...

2008-01-31T11:39:00.000+08:00

sadded... its not the 1st tym i'm experiencing dis, but dis tym its different.
other tyms, it occurs to family members dat i don't even know existed. dis tym, it happened on mi senior, mi fren...
sorri for not knowing wad had happened. although we'r nt dat close in CO, u'r always mi senior & i will always be ur junior...
i've cried a million tears for u, although knowing dat will nt change anithing, but i still can't control mi tears from flowing...
nior... rest in peace, u'r always going to be remembered by mi...

helpless, hopeless
vulnerable lives...

2008-01-05T12:30:00.000+08:00

haha, okok. i'm finally updating this dying blog... actually, mi life is just as plain as ever even when it comes to christmas & new year... haiz... just changed mi phone to sony ericsson's W580i, n i'm still trying to adapte to the way it function. so bear wif mi if i rply msgs slowly... went back to SKL & i've yet to visit the 1 in T3... every1 dere is like: wah!! T3 is so much bigger wif more shops!!! the SKL is damn big too!!! ... i wan to go but no1 is willing to go wif mi... sian...

job done. blog updated. i'm just too bored to write & dis post is onli meant to waste ur tym!! so dun read if u've no tym!! XP

2007-12-19T22:39:00.000+08:00

updates on mi condition...

1stly, i finally see a doctor & was glad dat i delayed the trip coz i actually saved miself from an operation...

2ndly, a hole has been burnt from mi pocket as i've spent $100 just too see a doctor...

3rdly, i'm forced to eat 2 types of antibiotics & was given another jab of it. so in total, i've taken 3 types of antibiotics in a dae...

4thly, now, currently, i'm forced to eat 18 pills everydae if i include the painkiller & the gastric pills... actually, it should be 24 pills coz she given 2 dosage of gastric pills & painkiller...

5thly, she just finished filming her beri disgusting video clip for the psyco project... & she acts as a mum!!!

6thly, she's still jobless & rotting @ hm...

7thly, a new problem seem to surface from mi body after i went to see a doctor...

glad dat it's not dat serious after all.

hope dat the new problem is nth oso.

2007-12-16T09:56:00.000+08:00

something is wrong with mi... & i duno wad caused it. i'm afraid to c a doctor, not bcoz i'm scared of needles (which i'm not), but bcoz from what i can get from mi HAP txtbk, it seems to be quite a serioud prob...

i'm afraid to c a doctor bcoz i'm currently jobless, & if i'm required to c a speciallist, it will cost mi a bomb... or even all of the money in mi bank (which is not much).

i'm afriad to c a doctor bcoz i'm not sure whether it needs a surgery to recover. all i noe is dat the pain is too much for mi too take. people who noes mi noe that i cant restand pain. but i've tried mi best to endure the pain for the past 5daes... its really too much for mi as even panadol cant help to relift the it.

i tot it was nothing serious when it 1st started, but as daes past, it gets worst n more painful... & wads worst? i cant slp, walk or sit coz it hurts whenever i start to move...

please... dun let it b anithing serious when i finally go for a checkup... i noe i ask nie to go wif mi on tues, but i'm afraid i cant stand the pain for so long. i wanted to tell mi parents, but they'r working & i dunwan to bother them, if it turns out to be something minor. i wanted to tell mi sis, but she's practically not @ hm everydae, so i'm not sure if i can get to c a doctor earlier and get release from all these misery...

she hopes dat it nothing serious

& wont affect her sch work.

2007-11-30T21:04:00.000+08:00

haiz... cried again todae... but its bcoz someone took the NEW PAPER todae & let mi read. i read the article about the dragon boaters & cried again... embarassing lah... our class & 1 other class is in the same tutorial room for an AIDS talk, but the speaker is not dere yet. i cried dere, & mi class guys were like:

"EHH!!! Y U CRY?? OHH!!! NICHOLAS BULLY U IZIT???"

"WAD??? OOO!!! JEREMY... Y U MAKE HUI JUAN CRY???"

"SERIOUS ARH!!! U CRY BCOZ OF THE ARTICLE!!!"

n Melvin said:

"CAN LEND MI THE NEWSPAPER?? I WAN TO READ OSO. I OSO WAN TO CRY!!"

so sarcarstic rit?? so i was cring dere like an idiot... haha, lucky its nt dat serious as mon... aniway, when i said dat i wanted to read the newspaper again, Nicholas was like:

"EHH!!! HUI JUAN WANT THE NEWSPAPER. SHE WAN CRY AGAIN, FASTER LET HER CRY AGAIN."

haiz... went for the interview todae... can start work on mon. finally, Juan is nt jobless!!!! jia you!!! n dis is wad is learn todae:

The smile after the tear is the most beautiful...

2007-11-27T21:39:00.000+08:00

cried in sch again last fri... some1 asked mi y, but even i duno the reason... sometym its a matter of how you feel against wad others expect of u. understanding others is never easy, but it is harder to understand urself. mayb i'm just too sensitive, but aren't i the same person dat will tear for ani sad character on TV shows?? to the deceased of the recent dragon boat accident in Cambodia, i cried for u when i saw the news. m i getting sick or is it normal to cry infront of a TV screen?? i m jobless, i am stupid, & i m hopeless... mi academic grades are decreasing like a rollar coster going down slope. mi money is flowing out like bank transactions. mi life during & after sch is just slp, eat, copy and slp. i realised the seriousness of mi prob, mi frens r leaving mi, mi sisters r ignoring mi, & mi siblings r irritated by mi. but i do not have the urge to change, & find no courage to change. the qns to b answered now is, m i the same Hui Juan?

2007-11-27T21:22:00.000+08:00

hui juan, a simple & plain gal hu is just like ani1 hu pass you on the stree anidae... she has a loud voice and is known for her "fierceness". she is scared of t'chers but likes to treat them as her own frens. some people says that her feelings are written clearly on her face while others' 1st impression of her is dat the whole world owe her $$ when she goes into unfamiliar environment. she is highly dependent on her frens but is also financially independent. she is known as 'emo-queen' by her frens as she can cry as and when she wants to. she is hui juan, hui juan is mi

2007-11-18T20:09:00.000+08:00

wah!!! just recovered from cough & headache but the stupid virus is still bugging mi!!!! having a cold with beri serious runny nose... hw am i suppose to take mi tests this wk when i'm having a runny nose??? eek!!! gross!!! damn it, when is this stupid rainy season going to stop???

2007-11-16T07:23:00.000+08:00

友情与爱情之分道地是什么？明明是朋友但却变成现在这种情势，我能认真而又坦然地面对他们吗？这是个解不了的谜。我永远不会知道答案的谜。

十一年的友情难道就比不过刚来的爱情吗？怀念那一起做工的日子，但今时不通往日，现在的我们还能像以前那样的坦然吗？

厌倦了一直默默陪在你们身后的日子，但又不想就此放手。我知道爱情是盲目的，但能不能转过头看看身后的我？也许这代表着我们那还没开始的结局，但我并不甘心。不愿意今后再也看不到你的背影，更不想错过这难得的友情。

也许默默的放弃才是最好的决定。我永远不会忘记那双温暖的眼睛，但从今天起，我决定放弃。放弃那不属于我的爱情。再见了，或许你正在读这篇文章，但我相信你永远不会知道那个人就是你。十二月就要辞职了。相信今后的日子里不会再见到你（除了你和他的照片或是你们一起出现）。在这里献上我最大的祝福，对不起，我曾经伤害了你。

2007-11-12T22:44:00.001+08:00

days passes... the way they smile, they laugh, they fight, all seem so sweet... can dere really be ppl hu's willing to sacrifice themselves for their frens?? or m i just some1 hu a real hypocrite in the 1st place?? damn, thousands of questions in my head... dun feel like working animore... feel like quiting soon...

2007-11-10T19:51:00.000+08:00

this is wad i am. but ehh, i dun like thumbprint cookies coz i dun like jam!!!

2007-11-10T14:09:00.000+08:00

... back in action!!! haha, yah, mi blog nearly die le. coz i gt no tym to blog...
aniway, i realised dat many ppl duno where mi tag board is... is @ the INWRITTEN on the blog lah!!! haha.

the viscious cycle comes & goes everytym... hates & love the rainy seasons @ the same tym... contradicting rit?? haiz... whenever the raining season comes, mi 2pid brother will be sick... & i will also be sick coz he pass the bacterial to mi?? haiz... having headache for a consecutive 3daes nw... sian... dun wanna rely on panadol, derefore nv eat them... but the pain nv goes away & i nv seem to have enough sleep... sian.

the 2pid Bevin & Darric!!!! go die lah, let u'll eat thing still complain!!! nxt tym dun let u'll eat le. @ least Yuan Wei wont say so much & Wei Sheng oli said, " r u sure it's edible?"

haiz... projects starting, term test coming, but i did nothing... m i really good @ studying??? i dun noe, & will nv noe...

2007-10-24T19:24:00.000+08:00

haiz... 3rd dae frm the start of 2nd sem. 2pid mi go choose basic financial accountancy & psycology for cds... die, now i have to start sch @ 8a.m. or 9a.m. everydae & end sch @ 6p.m or 7p.m. everynight. sian... too tired to blog, or even chat wif mi frens...

sterrs-
i've always wondered y such a weird combination of ppl will gt tgt & bcom gd frens...

pei: a childish & serious gal who is always slow @ understanding ppl's speech.

juan(mi): a fierce & serious gal who always obey the rules.

hui: a clever & hardworking gal who always strive for the excellence.

fang: a "lian" & 2pid gal who onli dare but speak without action.

yi: a serious & straight-forward gal who always give ppl black face when dey'r lame.

nie: a blur & outgoing gal who is eceptionally gd in physic.

na: a blur & dependent gal who can stay up a few nights on the com without slp.

dats what sterrs- is composed of... but wad make us gt tgt?? its just funny hw i cant rmb. things r going on in our life dat makes us further apart. but is dat going to change our friendship?? is our friendship everlasting??? its been so long since we last talk... (okie, its onli 2 wks...) & things r happening to us dat makes us less aware of wad is happening to each other. is dis wad i really want?? mayb its too late 2 regret gting into tp & nt choosing nyp. but dis is already the fact & i cant change anithing... haiz... jia you bah... mi futher seem so bleak & rocky...

2007-10-16T00:51:00.000+08:00

damned!!!!!! kao! i promised to miself dat i'll nv slp on the bus on mi way to airport again!!

1stly, for the bbq on sat. Na & Yi, u guys still owe mi some tears hor!! gan dong but no tears is beri sad for mi leh! i tried so hard to con u 2 to the pit... haha. aniway, hope Yi still enjoy the belated surprise for her & Na will enjoy her coming birthdae. & once again, HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAE to Weiyi!!

2ndly, dont ever let mi mt dat idiot hu touch mi ytd again!! damned him. i'm nv going to slp when i take bus 53 again!! wad the f* go die lah! if onli i was conscious of wad is happening ard mi, i'll definitely let him die a horrible death!! dat idiot sure doesn't noe hw to spell the word death!! to think dat i'll be so 2pid to let him touch mi without seeing his face or even noticed wad he is wearing or his body built!! kao. shit him lah! go die!

2007-10-12T19:24:00.000+08:00

tym flies... two more wks to sch reopens!!! haiz... wonder wad happened to mi ytd?? okie, tym to get serious.

SORRI!!! *bow* i didn't mean to show you guys the 'black face' ytd. i'm really damn tired after a night of work wif onli 2hours of slp!! n mi leg hurts lik hell ytd night. somemore, the tym that the 3 guys arrive was quite... i was having a terrible headache then... i really didn't mean to show u'l the 'black face'!! SORRI Yen Fang, Rui Han, Annie, Xian Hui, Yuan Wei, Xiang Ming n the i duno hu guy!!! so, so, so sorri!!!

haiz... after apologising... Annie Ng, u better ans ur dad's call everytym u'r wif mi. if nt, i'm going to chop ur head off!!! okie, i should introduced miself as "part tym nanny n personal security guard for Yen Fang n Annie respectively" haiz... although i stop receiving calls frm fang's mum, but does dat signals the start of mi call receiving sessions wif nie's dad?? wah!! nearly scared to death ytd night when i send nie hm!! her dad is SO angry wif her lah!! the most funni part is when yw heard her dad's voice n hide to the next level. haiz... do i look so weak?? the slp area for the construction workers is 1 block away from mi hse!!! nie arh nie, i don't think ani1 dare to come near mi wif mi look!! the same goes wif yw... ask him go hm, he say its alrd halfway to mi hse, so might as well send mi back. haiz... thanx again arh!! but i noe lah, its damn akward ytd lah!! haiz... 4gt it. i'm so, SO worried abt the tym table!!! pls!!! pls dun let mi have the same type of tymtable again!! although i've already had 1 of the worst tymtable in the whole institute...

2007-10-09T21:57:00.000+08:00

emo queen is back~~

cried @ amk hub just now due to no reason... y?? annie kept asking mi. y i cry?? i have no idea. mayb things r just meant to b dis way...

n CHIANG CHUN WEI... damn u. u r listed into mi never to b forgotten list n ranked No.2!! (the No.1 is CHEE YUAN WEI) but if u pay mi a cup of Starbucks or Coffee Beans' Ice Blended Mocha wif Whipped Cream, i'll 4gt everything dat u said todae!!

life... we'r living in a absurd world... it's just hw the world really is...

2007-10-06T13:36:00.000+08:00

haiz... another dae filled with miseries & sorrows...

1stly, work ot from 7pm to 7am ytd night. dat is still ok, but recently, the business cls section of the lounge gets beri buzy for the whole dae. i've been running ard throughout the 12 hours dat i work... & wads worst?? haha, having to take over Emily's bar is a terrible thing!!! (nie will noe dat...) plus, i'm working ot @ Bar C but actual @ Bar A!!! dis means dat i'll hav no tym to prepare mi stuffs b4 hand!!!

2ndly, haiz... many nt alot of ppl noe, but i must drink a cup of starbucks' or coffee bean's Ice Blended Mocha wif Whipe Cream
but unfortunately, no1 is dere to help mi buy dat. i was pinning mi hope on Michelle, hoping dat she can help mi buy & pass to Jia Hui but Jia Hui is sick ytd & applied mc. haiz... dere goes the teaching session wif Jamalia @ Bar A... & no Mocha??? help!!!

3rdly, Bar C is so damn buzi dat Xinyi, Joshua, Zemala & Mama Sang had to help mi tend to mi bar. (although they appear @ different tyming...) haiz... & dats the reason y i didn't had mi dinner, supper & breakfast from 4pm ytd till 9am 2dae...

but still, bad things r sure to come to an end!! haha. u noe wad?? Uncle Han actually crossover from Keppel to Indeco & is back @ SKL!!! & hw did our 1st mting aft 1st Sept goes??? lets c...

"小妹! 为什么你跟自己讲话？ aiyo! 我以为一阵子没见你神精病liao!!" was wad Uncle Han told mi when he 1st saw me talking to Joshua hu was blocked from his view by the wall. wad the... still the same old Uncle Han dat likes to crap alot!!! & he keep asking mi for cappuccino whenever he saw mi!! wad the... but some things nv change...

"你中 toto arh? 整天笑. 告诉我四个 number 让我买 4D lah!" is wad he always said to me coz he tot dat i strike lottery everytym!! pls, i'm just 17 okie... & i dun buy lottery!!haha, its ok though, coz i missed the Keppels & nw Uncle Han is back! cheers for dat!! now, mi work daes will nt b so boring wif Uncle Han dere for mi to bulli!!

2007-10-03T17:38:00.000+08:00

haha. went to be guinea pig for doggie n piggy ytd... although mi n yi is supposed to be Guinea Pigs, we were "forced" to help out with the obentos...

everyones' hardwork & effort!!

the ebi dat doesn't look like 1. haha, i fried dis!!

nie's chawanmushi without being cook. haha, it taste quite nice though.

nie's daughter wif yi's son. 天生一对 siah!!

na's too salty octopus...

ok... now wif the gradings... overall, the obentos tasted nt bad, (& i like nie's chawanmushi), but there are some side effects to dat. yi had DIARRHOEA & nie had indigestion... r dey caused by the obentos??? we'll nv noe...

2007-10-03T17:10:00.000+08:00

finalli!!!! i've changed a new blogskin & add a few words here. haiz... nt in the mood of blogging nowadaes... hope that this will make mi blog look more alive??

2007-09-12T12:16:00.000+08:00

haiz... no mood to blog till now. 2 daes aft the idiotic stuffs happened. life sure suck lik hell for me on mon morning, when i was working...

firstly, Michelle was sick so i had to cover bar a for her. dat was my most hated bar but wad can i do?? no choice wad, Jia Hui dunno hw to do bar a...

secondly, during the peak hour of the morning, abt 6am, deres dis passenger hu wanted to watch tennis on the plasma tv. i coundn't find the PRO & was nt lik Annie hu noes everything abt dis, so i was being scolded by him. sian... but i did managed to find the correct remote & help him change the channel. he snatch the remote frm mi & increases the volume without returning it to mi, so i said, "sorri sir, can i have the remote control back?" damn it lah! he stared @ mi n put the remote into mi hand. kao.

thirdly, i need to ot because there is no one to do bar b in the morning. hell, now den i noe hw buzy business cls is in the morning of mon. haiz... i dun blame Michelle, the people really come n goes lik ghost, fast n hungry. luckily Emily is dere to help mi, if nt i'll die straight dere.

fourthly, the coffee machine aka Annie's hubby is spoilt again!!! kao, it nearly cost me 4 daes of unpaid work just to compensate the passenger. but it wasnt mi fault n i didnt even noe wad happen!!! y must the passenger scold mi lik it was all bcoz of mi fault??? he nt onli rush into mi work place, the onli for staff door, but oso demanded a compensation frm mi!!! he said dat the coffee dirtied his white jeans. he was so damn angry n wanted to see someone in charged. i shouted for Emily thru the intercom but dat was no use. so we approached the PRO & she approached Jackie. sian... i didnt noe dat life can suck lik dat. i cried immediately on the spot & i guess Emily saw it. ok... nt onli Emily. but dey ask n speak nth abt mi crying, just continue doing their work. den aft every1 is gone, Emily ask whether the passenger scolded mi, n i ans yes.

kao. damn tired. i've nt eaten anithing since sun night til mon morn 10am. even though Michelle bought mi 2 Mars bars n uncle Tan bought mi 1 Sneakers, i have no tym to eat dem. n sorri to say dis, but they did nt help in making mi feel better. kao.

n lastly, i always try to help auntie sort out the dirty cups n plates but the auntie dat morn dont want mi to do dat. haiz... she could have told mi earlier wad, but she didnt, so i'm sorting dem for her. den she pushed mi n the glass broke, cutting mi hand. haiz... luckily its nt a deep cut, just a minor 1 dat can heal without having a scar. sian... oh yah, n did i say? Jackie actually paid the passenger hu had coffee on his white jeans $140. n we dont noe whether its sing. $$ or US $$. life suck. pathethic life, pathetic mi.

2007-09-05T14:27:00.000+08:00

wao!!!!!!!! tym flies! its already 1 wk aft the start of break. five more wks to go b4 the start of a new semester... finally have tym to blog, although there's nothing to talk about. haiz...

i missed keppel uncles!!! ah han uncle always play & crap wif mi to keep mi awake thru the night. ismal always sneak out to smoke in the middle of the night. & the indian uncle( i dunno his name) always ask mi about sch wk. life has become quiter without them...

now to the new technicians. damn dem. in the past, there's onli 1 keppel uncle guarding the whole SKL thru their shifts. now, there's 3 new technicians guarding the whole SKL every shift!!

sian... these idiots who dunno hw to thank someone. no basic mannars!!! damn them!!!

2007-08-28T20:48:00.000+08:00

hell... life suck. everything doesn't seem to be working well for me. nt work, nt sch, nt life. getting really tired of everything. can any1 just end mi life?? will there ever be a chance for me to become someone else?? can ani1 save mi frm dis miseries??

2007-08-21T18:30:00.000+08:00

juan- u win... u r the best!!! 3 daes to exams and yet u did nth @ all... worst of all, u can still play yahoo games and bake ur damn muffins!!! kao.

friends- r dey always dere 4 you when u needed dem?? r u always dere 4 dem when dey needed u?? everything's changed. everything's nt the same. nv could we go back to the past, where our laughters always last. times flies when happiness is ard & nv pass when loneliness is felt. nth is going to be the same. nt animore. friends found new friends, while u?? loneliness is everythings dats left behind. nth much, just loneliness. mayb somedae, u will feel better, but what if??? what if dat somedae nv arrive??
damn, tried of all the hypocrites, tired of acting, tired of everything. okay, continue mugging... as if i will really do it. the no.1 slacker on earth?? juan- dat is.

2007-08-18T18:46:00.000+08:00

mug, mug, mug...
why the hell in the world is there a need for examinations??? haiz... cant seem to get into the mood of studying... sian. the trip to library todae did help though. finally, i'm able to calm myself down and study. haiz... still sian. 加油!!!

i believe in you! do you believe in yourself???

2007-08-14T21:55:00.000+08:00

wahhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!! a damn embarassing dae 4 mi lah!!!!!!

1stly, some1( hu is mi) said something in sch 2dae about bathing 4 1hour and doing everything together. the result of this??? a red tomato and 1 piece of tissue wastedc on tears.... haha, we were laughing so loudly in the library, & worst of all, i will cry if i laugh too hard!! sian... so i am the 1 laughting my heart out and becoming tomato @ that instant lah!!! there goes 1 piece of tissue paper...

2ndly, the secret power of Hui Juan once show itself!!! haha, of course, that is none other than my crying skills @ movies!! wasted 1 piece of tissue paper again in the cinema!! went to catch "SECRET" with Jia Hui & Jenny(my cousins) and was crying lik hall towards the end of the show(not actually...)... haiz... its actually a damn sad movie lah, but in the whole theater, i'm the only 1 crying lah!! sian... Jia Hui was like asking me, "beri sad meh?? u noe that u'r the onli 1 that cried?? & somemore, u started crying quite early before the end..." haiz... its not as if i wanted it to happen. just that my tear gland is a little bit more active then u'll wad... u should see the works of Annie, den u will noe what is kua zhang loh. haha, aniway, i 'famous' to be beri sentimental and sensitive... ( i cry 3 tyms when i see Pearl Harbour everytym. & i can even cry while watching Harry Potter...)haiz... mayb its tym 4 some changes to be made. but seriously, something in life just cant be change, as the saying goes, a leopard nv changes its spot.

2007-08-11T12:06:00.000+08:00

happy belated NATIONAL DAY!!! haha, went out wif sterrs & our MAYFLOWER FREN on wed. but its still nt a gd dae for mi.

1stly, i didn't have mi lunch(i wasn't hungry @ dat tym). so i gt gastric @ ard 4++

2ndly, after mi gastric, the backache dat left mi for dunno hw many months return!!! i noe i missed you, but u nd nt return... its kind of killing mi even tym u visit...

3rdly, i ate the panadol but it was no use

4thly, i end lesson @ 6 dat dae. sian... i'm suppose to mt sterrs in amk, so i went & reach dere ard 7++ ( of course i was late...)

haha, dat ends mi misery for the dae!! sterrs went to eat kfc & after dat, we were seating @ the 3rd floor just below Cathay. haiz... @ ard 10, a security guard came but he didn't approached us. soon aft an older security guard came & chased us away!!! wad the... haiz... aniway, took lots of unglam photos dere(all grsbbed frm Annie 1 lah!!):

our mascot "Michael"!!

i pity Michael everytym he met us... coz his fate will be the following:

did she look lik L here?? haha, dats the untypical aries, Annie!!

haiz... nana looks cute in everything she does...

yi ah!!! stop doing those cruel things to Michael!!

nt 4gting our MAYFLOWER FREN too.

this is wad happen when we'r onli MAYFLOWER FREN...:

2007-08-04T14:27:00.001+08:00

damn, things are not going well for mi dis few days...

1stly, i discovered dat i have very great affinity with worms. yes, WORMS. saw a worm when i ate longan @ hm dunno hw many years back. nearly eaten a worm when i was eating lychee @ my uncle's hse a few years back. saw a huge catapillar(yes, its damn huge. its about the size of the seaweed chicken roll!!) in the bathroom while i was bathing abt 2-3 years back. n now, just 2 daes ago, i nearly eat a worm again!!! sian, people who noes mi well enough will noe dat i have a hard tym eating oranges, coz i spent a long tym preparing the orange before eating. ( yes, i will spent 30 mins peeling the skin & the white tread-like thingy until it is very clean. n i will finish the orange in less than 5 mins!) i already wanted to put it in my mouth b4 i suddenly realise something is moving on the orange. n worst of all, it seem to b waving @ mi!!!! hell man, when i told mi parents, they say dat orange cant have worm coz the skin is very thick. n the orange that i peel has gt no holes on the skin!! but dey still managed to spot the worm after spending a long tym trying to locate it. coz its really too small... mi dad n sis told mi dat if it was dem hu's peeling the skin, they would hav eaten the worm unnoticed. huh??? crazy lah, dey say dat onli people hu eat oranges lik mi or people hu inspects everything they eat will discover the tiny, whinny worm. haha. aniway, i still hate worms.

2ndly, dis is the 2nd tym i gt a delay flight during midnit this month!! sian. n wads more, the reason of the delay flight is dat two airplanes crashes @ each others' wings, therefore, the passangers must be evacuated to other planes for departure. haiz... i'm working bar c so its still ok... lik real. i really wonder if the pessangers hav been starved for quite some tym, coz they asked where is mi bread when its onli 3am!!! the usual tym dat i finished setting mi breakfast is 4.30am lah!!! kao, aniway, thanz Jia Hui for helping out @ the bar. haha, & Elderly Tan oso, :), coz he always say mi smile dissapear from mi face recently... i noe dat, but i cant help it. i'm nt a person hu liks to amile in the 1st place, but after i started working, mi colleages give mi a nickname, smiley. haha, guess dat nick would be gone in no tym...

3rdly, exams are near but i still havnt started mi revision!!! sian. two more weeks b4 the study wk. must buck up man!!! if nt, hw do aim for ur scholarship???

2007-08-01T17:28:00.000+08:00

sian, sian, sian... why izit that deres so many troubles in this world??? frustrated that i can do nth about the troubles... worst of all, they are nt mi own problems... when can i learn nt to b so kpo???

2007-07-28T21:37:00.000+08:00

hahaha, went for the pen selling activity todae which was quite touching!!! its good to see dat dere are ppl in this world dat cares for the less fortunate!!!

wow, guess wad??? i saw Pei Pei's parents & they actually remember mi!!!!(Pei Pei is mi primary school best friend!!) haha, damn excited over dat small thingy.

another thing to be proud of... mi & Xian Hui is paired tgt for the pen selling, while Ying Ru & her gang sold the pens tgt. b4 we went dere, Denny was telling us how fast the 3 of them managed to sell the pens, but the results turn out dat mi & Xian Hui sold 33 pens in a total of 3 hours & each of us gets 5 hours extra for CIP. haha, while Ying Ru & her two other friend sold 9 pens each. a total of 27 pens, after more than 4 hours!!!! hahaha!!!! damn happy right now. i guess i must be getting mad due to the lack of slp. (i've already been awake for 36 hours & was standing for 30 hours!!!)

aniway, i still remember dat Denny owe mi & Xian Hui our bd presents... i will nv 4gt dat man, dun try to run away with it. haha.

2007-07-23T20:19:00.000+08:00

haiz... went for a beri, beri, beri stupid & boring concert ytd!!! slping for almost half of the concert, heard the 1st song which was played b4 by Mr. Ling, dun understand the 2nd song, & onli 2 songs are pipa solo... but we saw Mr Mike Chiang!!! haha, i did go crazy by waving madly lah, den the aunties are lik staring @ mi!! btw, alot of audiences dere are aunties lah!!

wasted mi $15 lah!! Xian Hui, expensive niax!! & went to eat tempura ramen @ sakei.. GST increases, so prices go up!!! haiz... burn a hold in mi pocket siah!! aniway, now den i noe dat the food fair @ bugis is actually so so so smelly!!! haiz... nearly fainted on hui ytd when we walk pass. haha.

aniway, on the way hm, i suddenly rmb.c DENNY STEPHAN!!! u nv giv mi my birthdae gift dis year leh!!! mi $1000000 rupia i still rmb lah!!! haha. dun 4gt abt dat hor, although mi bd over 4 months le, but u still must giv mi hor!!!

2007-07-22T11:09:00.000+08:00

i guess i'm dat kind of ppl dat is easily influenced by ppl. just bcoz of dat idiot Yuan Wei hu introduced mi to the touching MVs by the korean trio Seeya, i'm hooked to them now!!! wah!!! Seeya's songs are really nice & their MVs are very touching (i cried everytym i watch dat)!! although onli the people in the MVs are handsome & beautiful... aniway, i accidentally found out dat actually, SG Wannabe & Brown Eyed Girls sang some really nice songs too!!! haiz... guess dat mi sem is going to be drag down by the com again... nvm, theres still 1 more month to go. JIA YOU!!!

this MV is kind of funny...

2007-07-21T14:11:00.000+08:00

haiz... my whole world is emoing now... 1st theres mi, den Annie, & last but nt least dat idiot, Yuan Wei. chat with him abt lots of things over msn & finally, i'm able to accept the fact dat he has changed a lot over the pass four to five years!!

well, u can't blame mi for not being able to accept dat. coz he used to be a very irritating guy & a big bully. althought he was a small built guy, he run & jump around lik a monkey everytime. haiz... pity mi had to stay in the same class as him for 5 YEARS.(although he only rmb 4 years) haiz... suddenly rmb a lot of memories i had in primary sch, most of which is how he had bullied mi & some of mi classmates. he used to hit mi whenever he saw mi, during our lesson in class, or even @ the corridoor when we were nt in the same class @ P3!! but the worst is yet to come. he actually caused mi to be chased out of mi class by mi P5 form teacher!!! i was told to move mi table & chair out of the class to sit there & attend mi lesson for almost 1 WK!!(although he rmb its more den 1 wk) wah!!!! thinking about this makes mi heart boils!!! wanting mi to believe that he had actually changed from a sickening, irritating idiot to some1 so sentimental??? impossible! but i do rmb 1 thing about him dat nearly made mi change mi views about him in P6. he sort of lik dis girl hu happens to be my good fren. & so, when i told him dat tml is her birthdae, he actually pass mi dis dunno wad thingy & ask mi to pass it to her as her birthdae gift. hahaha!!! i did dat but was scolded by mi fren lah!!! kao. nvm. but somehow, i seem to see the same thing happening once again...

one is mi good fren, one is mi ok, fren. this kind of things kind of keep revolving in mi world. giving some serious thoughts, it kind of happen quite a no. of times on mi, caught in the middle. but dis time, i'm not the 1 dat is involve in the whole situation, i'm just a kpo girl hu keeps wantin to find out what had happen to mi frens!! i recently started to think about a lot of things about miself... things are starting to get really strange recently, maybe a psycologist can help mi.

aniway, he shared a few clips with mi dat make mi cry like hell. really!!!

2007-07-21T13:44:00.000+08:00

wao!!! i had so much fun ytd wif Xian Hui, Weiyi, & Annie!! haha, although i waited for them for 4 hrs alone @ amk, but its still very fun.

spending 1 hr on travelling from tampanies to amk, 2 hrs alone in the library, den went to amk hub & sleep @ the stairs for 1 hour. haiz... yi finally reach @ 6pm n nie came after dat. went to eat @ kfc, although i'm still sick, but saw a lot of ppl ytd. they include Jia Min, Zi Yang, Wai Kit, Ren Sheng, Nie's fren Le Han, Kwang Yong, & last but nt least Chun Wei. haha, still rmb wad Chun Wei said to mi when i saw him n Kwang Yong.
"ehh?? y u say 'oh, hello!' to kwang yong but 'eh? wad r u doing here' to mi? that difference is so big!!" & i replied,
" i beri cook with u meh? y must say, eh!! hello!! to u??" den u said,
" not cook meh?? kua kua!!"
i nearly killed him in front of everybody. haha. but dat was fun though. i misses everything dat we've done in sch, & now, i misses every1 i've met in sch.

haiz, gossip is always the thing we do when a few girls get tgt. we talk abt almost everything, from our joy to our sorrows, to other ppl's joy or sorrow. i pity u, nie, & i really wishes i can do sth to help. but it seems dat its hard for mi to do anithing when we'r so far away, & with mi shitty timetable. haiz... i noe u suffered in sch, nvm, but strong & we can all overcome this!!!

jia you everybody!! including dat idiot whom i dun believe that u've changed so much! believe in miracle & it might happen to u & mi!!

2007-07-18T22:23:00.000+08:00

wahhh!!! sick,Sick,SICK!!

coughing, sneezing, nose block, ear block... haiz... when can mi immune system be better???

saw Bevin in ASc todae. wah! dat idiot actually pretend dat he nv see mi lah!! kao, just care to talk to Alice, but ignore mi!! gonna kill him if i see him again!!

den i saw Xinyi & Kai Xiang oso. wads todae huh?? i actually saw Benjamin, Sam, bear, Xinyi, Kai Xiang & Darric lah!! haha. quite lucky huh? wah!!! dat idiot Kai Xiang actually hit mi head when he walk pass mi the 2nd tym lah!! dun let mi see him dis sat or worst, take over his bar, if nt i'm really going to kill him!!

meet Michelle in tp todae... she actually travel all the way from rp to tp just for her table tennis gathering lah!! (although i dunno y) but looking @ the both of us walking together makes mi feel sad... 2 sick patient walking together, haiz... so pathetic lah! she nearly scare mi to death just now, nearly have an asthma attack when she send mi out! haiz... jia you, take care of ur health k??

2007-07-13T19:57:00.000+08:00

crying... when will i ever learn how 2 stop?? i bet deres no other person with an EQ as low as mi!! things has been going on weirdly with mi, i cried @ the airport last wk, & now, i cried in SCHOOL!! deres a sudden urge 2 cry, without any reason why. & the worst part is, i've been feeling lik dis 4 2 whole wks.

tired of acting, tired of crying, tired of studying, tired of everything...

when will mi world come into pieces and forms a complete picture?? sometimes, its not about the decision we made. its about the consequences of the decision made. can ani1 get mi out of dis total wreckage?? its hard to think about the consequence, & even harder when things goes out of ur hand...

2007-07-10T17:09:00.000+08:00

wahh!!! kao... have mi HAP lab session @ the sports complex 2dae, the onli lab dat doesn't need ani lab coat... all was doing fine when dis grp of 2pid guys came!! of all places, they actually played ball before us!! and their aiming was like hell, we were seating @ the audience seat @ the last row & they were playing @ the track, but balls are flying everywhere!!! haiz... miss Jothi nearly got hit by the ball but she managed to dodged it. the ball flew & hit Indah on her knee!! i dunno whether its b'coz she's stronger den i am or the ball really didn't have much impact on her, but she did nt show ani sights of pain. the ball bounced & hit mi leg lah!! kao!! its damn painful de! they think i made of steel izit?? the worst part was, these idiot guys actually said dis, "sorri leh, pain ornt?? remember dat we'r from HTM." arhh!!!!!!!!! wad has dat gt to do wif mi?? i dun care whether their in HTM or MTH, i just wan dem to go other places & play their 2pid ball!!! kao... still feeling abit dizzy from yesterdaes fever. haiz...

2007-07-08T03:07:00.000+08:00

annie is mi GOOD SISTER!!! though she say dat she nv receive mi sms & nv rply mi, she still emo with mi just now!! she wanted 2 slp ard 1.30+ but aft she noes dat i cried @ the airport, she actually pei mi emo!! although dat wasnt anithing 2b proud of, but i so gan dong!!! @ least deres my friends who care for mi... thanz nie, Yvonee & bear. i'm fine, really. just dat i cant stop my tears from dropping...

2007-07-08T02:01:00.000+08:00

something is terribly wrong with mi todae!!! felt lik crying the whole dae!!!

sian, working like hell todae... lucky 4 mi, i was doing bar b. but still, i'm too clumsy & slow... luckily Kai Xiang helped me alot todae... although his attitude is still beri shitie! n Michael is lik always coming to bar b to slack... S.Leage, thailand V.S. Iraq todae, he damn interested, always go outside n look @ the big LCD tv. the onli tym dat i was having fun was when Michael & keppel uncle Han went out & watch the soccer match (diff. tyming of course) & i tease dem. haha, dey were so engrosed in the match lah!! Michael pratically stayed @ the bar for 15 mins for the match!!! (dats beri long for a warmer to stay @ a bar!!) but the rest of the dae just sux...

Jiahui came 2 work with a bar of Toblerone 4 mi!!! but she's doing bar c & Michelle took over mi bar. haha, the Toblerone was actually bought by mi cousin Zhiming (Jiahui's bro), & to think dat he actually asked her 2 pass it to mi!!! gan dong nahx!! haha... but i still feel lik crying.

@ the bus stop @ basement in T2 airport, i seated @ the chair 2 wait 4 bus 53. i took the 3rd bus... i cried once i sat down @ the chair, & took off mi specs. so actually Jessie & Xinyi was queing @ the bus 53 queue. though i dun think dat de noticed mi... didn't c Kai Xiang boarding the bus 858, but Michael came over & sat beside mi after the cleaners all left. i was still crying den... dunno whether he noticed dat ornt... but he kept quiet & say beri little things to mi, so i think he more or less realised dat i'm crying or feeling down.

there's 3 person hu noes dat i'm nt really myself todae. 1st, Kai Xiang. he say i was playing 'zi bi'. dots, & he call mi shortie lah!! 2nd is Michael. he kept asking mi ok ornt?? can ornt?? anithing?? ... 3rd is uncle Han, the Keppel. he tot dat i was being scolded & complained by some1. haiz... i dunno wad 2 do. y m i always lik dat??

2007-07-06T23:46:00.000+08:00

arrh... a huge, gigantic FLYING COCKROACH just attack miiii!!! mi goodness, luckily i'm still able to wake mi dad & get him to get rid of the pest!! hell man, was just enjoying myself after the gathering but dat 2pid cockroach appear...

2007-07-06T22:37:00.000+08:00

WOW!! just ended the chomp chomp trip & it actually turned out quite fun!! aniway, i get to meet the nv b4 seen Alan & Gordon. haha, every1 suddenly bcome so tall!! btw, there's only 3 girls present, Jolene, Annie & i. have a nice dae though, despite the lack of ppl for a trip 2b known as class gathering...

did alot of 2pid things todae.

1stly, we were all shocked when the sugarcane juices ordered by the guys arrived. 5 HUGE gigantic glasses of sugarcane juices, & it cost $2.50!!!!!

den we were kind of being 'scolded' by this group of girls from CHIJ when dey saw our bags lying around @ the other table without ani1 seating over dere. haiz... chill ppl.

after the meal, the guys actually wanted to climb into our pri sch SGSS, the deserted sch!!!although dey found no way of getting in, the idiot Darric kept insisting dat we'r able to shortcut to the main road via the side of the huge canal. kao!!! dats hell for ppl lik mi wearing slippers lah!!! i pity u guys man, but luckily we'l managed to get out unharmed (except for Bevin, who's been bitten by some insect). Darric arh, deres always a saying that goes... clever is enough, but never pretend to be clever.

seated @ Kensington Park for lik almost 2-3 hours... haiz... dat violent Shi An hit mi wif his shoe when i did nt even say or do anithing to provoke mi!!! its an accident aniway... he's trying to aim @ Gordon. the dae ended wif us sending Jolene back to her granny's hse. den we were off to go home.

suddenly remembered alot abt pri sch happenings... many ppl might nt know, but i kind of tend to remember faces of ppl i've met b4 (even those on buses) or even been b4. i know i can't say out the name of the person or place exactly, but i'll remember quite clearly of those ppl & places i've come across. dats how the problem gets in. Annie says dat i'm crazy to rmb dat but i didn't try to rmb aniting abt Mrs virubak's hse. it just came to naturally... just lik when i say dat there was dis time when Mr Goh wanted the whole class 2 wait 4 him while he went down 2 get his keys from his wife... its nt as if i can help it!!

everything was fun todae. althouth sth happened to Shi An (which i'm nt sure wad is dat) & he was verry quite the whole way thru. i missed every1 of dem! but it's scary to think abt wad will happen to us in the future... can we keep our current relationship & remain as classmates & friends 4ever??? or are we going to end up like every1 else, each going a separate way??? i guess i'll nv know until we've finally come to dat dae. hope dat we can maintain dis precious relationship & wishes dat we can have such gatherign more often!!!
p.s. can i not always b the 1 organising??? its very tiring 4 mi u noe....

2007-07-05T19:09:00.000+08:00

its been so long since i last post a new post. hahahaha... guess i wasn't in the mood before dis. got back some shocking results for the term test... sian...

BioChemistry: 25.5/50

Human Anatomy and Physiology: 25.5/50

Principles of Inorganic and Physicle Chemistry: 33/50

Organic Chemistry: 36.5/50

Maths and Statistic: 42/50

ugly results rit?? nothing dats good except 4 MST. haiz... can ani1 help mi 2 get back onto mi learning track??? i've been slacking lik hell n now, all mi efforts have been shown in the term test results!!

mting 6Cers tml @ Chomp Chomp!!! haha, its supposed to b the bedok gang's dinner but dunno y suddenly it seems dat every1 is going to turn up!! great tym to relax but tml is 06/07/07, the eve of the LIVE EARTH concert and the school is going to promote 'save the earth' msg by "strongly encouraging" us to wear green shirt tml... haiz, no green shirt lah (except 4 the lime green ASc shirt!)

working on sat @ 3pm. its been very long since i last work afternn shift. haiz... dunno wd to do if my bar went chaotic. aniway, since annie is working, i most probably have 2 work bar c lah!! die le lah!! look forward 2 tml, but definitely nt sat... aniway, although i know dat dey cant c dis, but still wishes Zemala and Tim HAPPY BIRTHDAE!!

2007-07-05T18:59:00.000+08:00

went for mi cousin's wedding dinner on sun... found out sth interesting.
1. actually i dun really remember dem
2. every1 has become so different from how dey look 3 years ago
3. no1 remembers mi except for the groom 'ben?? zhi heng', mi cousin 'qiang qiang' and the groom's sister 'jin ling'.

aniway, its nice seeing dem all again after so long and many of dem have become more fashionable?? haha. but i regreted nt taking down their contacts as i rarely make contact wif dem... nvm, i'll find someway in the future!! lastly, to Ben and Elyne,

CONGRADULATION FOR THE WEDDING!!

2007-06-20T19:49:00.000+08:00

haiz... y am i born with such a weak immune system??? being sick for a week and is still coughing... still need 2 work todae!!! sian, can my life be more enjoyable???

2007-06-15T19:19:00.000+08:00

why do people in the world have 2 get sick?? why do illnese and diseases exists in the 1st place?? finally, the tym of the year where people falls ill easily has come. haha, why do i have such a weak immune system??? falling sick during the holidaes and even passing it onto my family members... the whole family of 5 is now feeling unwell... m i the main cause for it??? tons of question again... mayb dats what people liks to do when there is nothing to do...

2007-06-11T18:13:00.000+08:00

its been quite long since i had dis feeling of friendship dat i felt on saturdae. everything seems 2 return 2 the past where we once again care 4 each other. how i long 4 dis feeling now, in the institution or the class. people hu noes mi will noe that i'm nt a person hu gets along well with people. it takes @ least 2 years 4 mi 2 built dat friendship with the 6 of them, do i hav the time to do the same with my current classmates?? tons of qns pouring into mi head. i'm nt as strong as wad people see in mi...

2007-06-07T14:08:00.000+08:00

hahahaha.... end of termtest signals the beginning of termbreak!! kinda feeling weird recently... sleepless nights n feel lik crying... mayb its just the after effects of being seperated from ur friends. aniway, i miss dem. n for saying dis, dey must b missing mi too!!

2007-06-02T18:37:00.000+08:00

haiz... there goes the trip 2 visit weewee. for some reasons, the trip tml was cancelled. i was happy @ first coz i nd nt spend my dae out n can spend the whole dae 2 study( which i havn do so). but i rmbed dat tml is hui's birthdae!! nvm, sisters are more impt, haha. aniway, bless myself for the coming term test n hope dat i can get better results( most probably nt) den the previous quizes.

2007-06-02T09:58:00.000+08:00

haiz... sian. can ani1 just take a brick or sth hard 2 hit mi head?? 2 daes to term test n i'm still @ hm rotting! i dunno wad will happen 2 mi in the future if dis goes on.

ps the rest of 6Cs on thurs coz yi n hui last min gt thing on. it's nt dat i dunwan go, but going wif the rest of 6Cs without the 3 of them is weird. aniway, i guess nt many ppl attended the gathering. so dun blame mi for nt going n cozing u to eat maggi for the whole dae, nie.

by the way, sundaes trip to weewee's hse is still on, but i'm nt sure if i really wan 2 go ornt. hui breaking camp on dat dae n yi dunno gt training ornt. i wont wan 2 go to his hse with the rest of the class without the 'chao chao 5 ren zhu' (yi, fang, pei, hui n mi), and definitely ctk. if i'm going without dem, i guess the most miserable 1 would be ctk coz i'm going 2 turn black n aim @ him 4 the whole trip.

haiz... y r dere so many may n june baby's dis tym round? going crazy with all the birthdaes!! but most imptly, hui's bd is coming!! is sterrs- going 2 celebrate with her or r we just going 2 weewee's hse without nie n na??

miss ya so much!! feel lik crying everydae in sch coz i gt no1 2 talk 2 when i'm nt feeling well. miss fang's shoulder n na's arm. i'll always rmb the way sterrs- take care of mi when i'm nt feeling well or feeling down... N ya!! where's our monthly gathering?? did ani1 actually realised that we've missed out the May's gathering??

2007-05-30T08:21:00.000+08:00

haha. went running with my brother yesterdae!! do u think he will jog with mi willing?? he was being dragged by the evil witch( dat's what my bro calls mi), and i managed to get him jogging 10 rounds non stop!! great sense of accompishment naix! haha.
to nie: mayb we can try going Kensington Park to jog coz the air is fresher dere, but its quite lifeless @ nit...

2007-05-27T21:36:00.000+08:00

haha, still having stomach ache from just now. go out with my cousin to celebrate her birthdaey 2dae, but now den i remembered dat we did nt take ani pictures!! haiz... nvm. aniway, the muffin dat i bake yesterdae was a disaster and i dun wanna talk abt it. but 2dae on the train, dere was a grp of guys hu were extremely disgusting and funny. haha, thinking of dem gets mi laughing again. 1 more wks to the term test and yet i'm still enjoying myself??? okok, i'll start studying from tml...

2007-05-24T09:46:00.000+08:00

yoyo!! had a wonderful time jogging yesterdae. but the side effects of jogging is acting on mi!! having a terible stomachache which i dunno why, and the need to face the OC quiz todae gets mi really dishearted. haiz... it's time to face reality and get started.

2007-05-21T19:17:00.000+08:00

great decision made todae!!! i quit from my cca. the decision made gives mi more tym 4 mi studies n oso allows mi 2 work for 1 more dae to contribute to the family income. haha, dunno y but i suddenly feel the urge 2 cry. is CO dat impt 2 mi? or m i just being sensative??

2007-05-20T09:55:00.000+08:00

help!! all the working, cca and school work is killing mi!! i'm going to fail mi 1st 3 quizzes, n i dun wan 2 fail animore. hu can save mi from all dis??? aniway, the end of the month is coming, so does our monthly gathering!! where r we heading to dis time round??

the start of a new journey.

2007-05-20T09:33:00.000+08:00

finally the return of my com!! the end of a story always comes with a new beginning. after schooling for 3 wks, i finally feel the need to study. will the 3 years in poly get mi going aniwhere?? no1 can giv mi the ans except miself. the creation of this blog is to guide mi and every1 i noe through the wonderful memories that we'r going to share in the future...